I absolutely LOVE sharing the wisdom of the menstrual cycle with men. One of the things that completely lights me up, is when a partner of one of the participants from the ‘Men and the Menstrual Cycle’ workshop gets in touch and explains the deep impact it has had for them as a couple. One particular woman explained that her partner had changed how he was during sexual intimacy to reflect where she was in her cycle. A HUGE smile swept across my face and I jumped up and down in celebration – TOP MARKS THAT MAN. So here I share reason number 2 for involving men in the conversation around the menstrual cycle.
#2 The flavour of sexuality will change throughout the cycle
The wonderful thing about sexual intimacy is there is a whole smorgasbord of options that you can dip into which can provide the connection and pleasure to suit your palate. As women and people that bleed move through the menstrual cycle, their connection with themselves, their body, their emotions and energy will change which will have a direct impact on their sexuality. So if you are in relationship with a person that bleeds, it is a really good idea to attune to where she is in her cycle as it will create deeper connection, more pleasurable intimacy and can bring more variety and play into the relationship. Here is a little insight into how a persons sexual needs can change throughout the cycle – remember though, us women folk are alllllll different, so communication, communication, communication is the key here if you truly want to understand their dance through the cycle.
Sacred Sexuality during Menstruation
Winter (day 27 – 5) – This for me is the spiritual quarter of the cycle, my energetic field is wide open and I have the most soft and sensual connection with myself. My body is super sensitive and my energy is low. The deep connection I have with myself, nature and spirit at this time, perfectly encapsulates the vastness and sacredness of my sexuality. When I choose to come into connection with someone from this place it is the perfect time to surrender, the ultimate yin practice, to really allow myself to lean back and be held. Meeting the other through gentle eye gazing, stillness, touch. Making love at this time can be an exquisite experience (this is a blog topic in and of itself and coming out very soon).
Playful flirtation in Spring
Spring (day 6 – 11) – Spring is a game of two halves for me. The first part of spring is all about self care, bringing the flavour of gentleness with us as we emerge from our winter cave. Treating our body and connection with great care and tenderness. We are reborn into a new cycle here, exploring the innocence of our body and our sexuality. Then wooooosh after around day 7 I am flying, my sexual energy is on the rise and I am HOT for sexual connection. It’s the playful, cheeky flirtatious part of the cycle, exploring new areas of connection and sexuality.
Summer (day 12 – 19) Sexual energy continues to rise thanks to sex hormones oestrogen and testosterone. We are in our lover energy, our potency and aliveness is here. We will be feeling more comfortable in our body, more attractive, more open to connection as we reach ovulation, our cervical fluid will be flowing and arousal levels higher. This is the time where we can get preggers so be mindful of contraception here folks. As the lofty heights of ovulation peak, a dip in energy and mood can occur and we drop more into a loving and nurturing heart/sex centred place which will be reflected in the kind of sex we will be wanting. Less higher energy, more dropped in and connected.
Let your Animal Nature Rooooar
Autumn (day 20 – 26)The raaaaaaah, the groooooowl, the rooooooar of the cycle. This is my most powerful part of the cycle, my emotions will be closer to the surface, I’m more likely to be in the sympathetic part of my nervous system (fight/flight), there is energy energy energy in me to be released. This is a wonderful time to get really physical, play fighting, wrestling, impact play – any way to release the grrrr from our systems. Growling as we play, showing our teeth, loosening the jaw. Taking the space to drop into our body in this way will help us to come out of our mind and release the tension that can build at this time.
So there we have it, a little insight into how someones sexuality can shift and change throughout the cycle. If you are a man or male identified person and want to know more about the menstrual cycle, then you can join my workshop on 24th October with Ayla Willow and the Vermillion Community – you are so very welcome.