There are a gazillion reasons why I am passionate about bringing men into the conversation around menstrual cycle awareness. In my experience, bringing men on board creates deeper connection, better understanding and appreciation and more harmonious relating. In this series of blogs I will share my top reasons why its beneficial to be part of the growing movement and paradigm shift around menstruation.
#1 Beware the Menstruating Woman when Dating
I jest. Women are bloomin marvellous creatures – AND – we can also be very changeable in nature. Not because we are TRYING to be awkward, but because we are hormonal cyclical beings. This will inevitably have an impact on dating and relationships.
If you are dating a woman or person that bleeds it’s REALLY useful to know where they are in their cycle (this also applies to women dating women too). I’ll explain why – in the first half of the menstrual cycle – and by that I mean around day 5 through to day 19ish – the woman is governed by sex hormones oestrogen and testosterone. This means that her energy will be slowly starting to rise, she will start to become powerful and magnetic as she edges towards the peak of her cycle, where she is most fertile and potent. Her hormones and pheromones will magically be pulling you in….in order to create babies. It’s evolution, right. Regardless of whether they actually want a child or not – these hormones are powerful creators that go beyond the rational and logical mind. So that being said, she might be feeling more juicy and aroused, more enthusiastic about being in connection, more up for going on fun and playful dates, more open to a YES to the relationship.
Then the woman crosses over to the second part of the cycle where oestrogen drops and progesterone rises and then her hormones come to a complete stop when she bleeds. Her energy will move inwards, she may be less tolerant of what isn’t working in the connection, she may withdraw or want less stimulation, she is becoming more sensitive, she may feel less sexy and comfortable in their body. Her inner critic might point out all the things that are not working and is more likely to be connected to the NO of your relating.
Tips to Support the Connection
- Open up a dialogue with your date to find out where they are in their cycle, find out how they are feeling in the connection so that you both know where you are at. If she is ovulating and super hot for you, you can have a giggle together in having the awareness of what is unfolding. If they are bleeding and they have taken a step back then really honour where they are in their cycle and take care of what you both need in the separation.
- If the woman wants to end things in the second half of the cycle – invite her to revisit the discussion when she has stopped bleeding. In the second half we are stripping ourselves bare and this includes ending relationships that are not serving us….but sometimes the stripping process can be over zealous. Once she has stopped bleeding, she may feel differently about things – BUT – watch out for those sex hormones again. If the woman is used to tracking her cycle then the truth of the connection will reveal itself in time.
- Slow down. By slowing down, you will both become more attuned to each other, what you both need at different points of the cycle, where you want connection and where you need space.
If you are a man or male identified person and want to understand more about the menstrual cycle and how it can improve your connection to those that bleed – I am running the 3rd ‘Men and the Menstrual Cycle’ workshop in partnership with Ayla Williow and the Vermillion Community on 24th October – 5pm – 8pm UK time, I’d love to see you there.